Anicdote: MOST Embarassing Moment of the Year!

I thought the year's embarassimg moment had it's name on it the first of the year when I left sacrament meeting with my skirt fallen down below my hind end. But because I had a matching slip on and was holding Cole to cover most of me it has now fallen to second place.

In first place is the day I like to call: Like many parents I'd like to start this tale off with the phrase, "I don't know what got into him," but he was in a hyperdrive independent mode starting with picking him up from preschool. My agenda for the day was getting my nails done prior to the cruise, picking up some shoes for the cruise, and returning white pants I bought for the boys (upon reconsideration of these pants I decided they were just too white for little boys to wear). So I approached my child with the exciting news that we were going to the mall for lunch and a few errands. When he bocked at the idea of soft pretzles and fresh lemonade I should have gone home and tried again another day. But my motivation was high and my tolerance felt sure so I persude my course. Lunch went well and I felt good about Gage and Cole having the rest of their lemonades to suck on while I get my nails filled.
Promptly on our arrival not 25 yards from the pretzel shop Gage informed me that he would NOT sit down in a chair and finish his lemonade. The first pangs of embarassment eeked up to my cheeks and on the back of my neck. Gage is usually cooperative and I was a little startled by his response. Instead of getting the heck out of there. I tried to conjul him into reading some books and playing QUIETLY with Cole. "NO, I don't want to!" he insisted. I spoke softly and calmly and explained how I needed his help, reminded him that he was a good boy, and offered him his lemonade. He took the bait....but not for long. I honestly don't know how long we were in the place. It should have taken around 15 min. to get my nails filled but it felt like closer to an hour. Every few minutes I was asking Gage to be quiet, to give Cole back his toy, to sit down in his chair, to speak with his inside voice, to finish his lemonade, to put his shoes back on...Everytime I had to say something to him the more I knew this was a BAD idea. Then I think the seven minute lull hit, suddenly it was quiet. I didn't turn to look because I was feeling sure that Gage finally surrendered his beligerent outbursts and so I surrendered into a quick mental break. I almost hadn't realized what the elderly couple behind me were chuckling about but I quickly came to and turned to see Gage standing up on his chair, hands on the glass window to steady himself while he licks the window from as high as he can reach, then does a long jaunt to the end of the chairs and steps down from the chiar continuing down the glass with his tongue to as low as he can reach. All the while I'm talking to a brick wall, we would not stop for anything. Then to make all matters worse Cole begins to cry, and Gage begins to shout to Cole to be quiet. I try holding Cole on my lap but he keeps grabbing for the lady doing my nails and for all the tools and products she has at her fingertips. Needless to say I am positive the people there were happy to see us leave. But do I go home? No, Any why not? Because the exact instant I walk out the store the boys stop crying. So I figure since we are all here and mellowing out and moving we might get the last two tasks done quickly, and we did and the boys were perfect. Now the best part of the day is yet to come.
Gage has temporarily returned to his imaginative, curious, cooperative self and as we are walking down one of the buiser wings to head back to the car, he is telling me about a movie he would like to go home and watch. He says something like, "And the man shoots his gun and his pants fall down. Is that funny Mom?" "Yeah," I say, "That is silly." "Yeah," Gage agrees, stops abruptly, makes his hands into a gun, points straight ahead, shouts, "Bang!" then reaches for his britches and pulls them down to his ankles, stands up and laughs. I don't know which side of him to cover up first so I hesitate for a nano second then jump behind him grab his pants and pull them up. My nerves are shot, I have no more anger left inside me and I'm so embarassed by all the attention we drew that afternoon already that I just start to laugh. I'm laughing so hard I can't even talk. But I'm trying to hold it all in so he doesn't know I think it was so funny and my eyes start to tear.
I stammer out some kind of comment about not pulling our pants down in public and as I'm staring straight ahead I'm catching the eyes of people having their own reaction to Gage and to Me with Gage, and to Me having the giggles with tears in my eyes. Yeah, that was an awful, dreadful, really bad, worst day ever!