The Silver Lining

Almost a year ago in March I had the impression we should start trying for our third child that summer. I was not baby hungry nor seeking inspiration on the topic. It was far from my mind, my hands were full, my life was full, my desires to pursue some other interests were strong. The closest I had come to thinking about the next baby was to see how I felt once Cole turned three. The impression was dismissed but came back almost monthly.

Having a child is just not something to take lightly and I wasn't. AND I wasn't willing to consider the idea since I could not wrap my head around having another one so close together. I had all my reasons and good one's at that; especially the fact that the pregnancy and the whole year following is hard. I'm not myself till that baby is weened which takes the whole year plus a few months after their birth. So I felt like Cole had just barely gotten to have his "real" Mother when these promptings came. I felt not only defensive for myself but for him and the rest of my family.

In mid June I finally got up the guts to act on these impressions. I called the doctor, fully intending on a lengthy wait to get in (which I would not argue). But interestingly they had an opening the very next day. I was given my directions and perscriptions and couldn't believe I was even doing this.

October arrived and so did a very vivid dream. In the dream various friends and family member's were asking where "Dane" was. I had not a clue what they were talking about but sat there unmoved and unconcerned, like so often happens in dreams, until Lans came walking out holding a little boy (oneish) in his arms. I stared at the unrecognizable boy trying to figure out why that wasn't Cole. Then it hit me that it was Dane. Suddenly a rush of realizaton hit me, "Oh," I thought, "That's Dane. We had another child, another boy." And then I woke up in such a way that the emotions from the dream were lingering and I thought, like so many of us do, "Huh, wierd dream," and went on with my life. A few days later I found out I was pregnant.
So I don't discount dreams entirely but I also don't try and read into them much. If God appeared to me in a dream I'd feel a little differently but you know I just chalk it up to the dreams you just have sometimes that are vivid and strange.

November, I was name hunting on the internet, mostly wanting to find out the meaning of my favorite girl's name, Vivian Jane which btw, not only sounds good to my ears, but the meanings and origins are beautiful and so appropriate for what I think a girl should be all about, that I remember my funny dream and type in the name Dane. Of course I'm thinking it's just going to mean "man from Denmark" and that won't do. All my kid's names have to have a meaning. But Dane came with two meanings, man from Demark, or Honorable. SO I think to myself IF this is another boy we'll just name him Dane. It follows suit, one syllable- four letter name - ending in E, and has a nice meaning.

Here we are 20 weeks+ and we have another boy on the way, a boy who is meant to be here at this time. A boy who has good brothers and a good home to come to. A boy we will name Dane.